White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
