WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
