So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store