she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.