Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life