toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.