you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
