I wish I only lived at night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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