wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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