he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
