Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i think my cat just said my name.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
