8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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