I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize