So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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