this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
