Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
