That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
