I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
