ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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