Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you will always have a special place in my vag
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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