I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
