i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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