I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
