i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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