I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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