remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
