This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
