My Higher Power is John Stamos
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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