That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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