i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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