she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
