The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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