I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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