Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
