It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
3 2 1 whiskey
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
