Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
