If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i think i just lost a toe
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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