How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
