Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
