I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
