Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
