Christians are straight up FREAKS
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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