Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
