i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
