im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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