You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
