Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
