Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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