My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
