are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
