I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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