shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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