youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
