Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
