just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
