Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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