just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
