is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize