Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
vagina is talking i cant
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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